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3 Ways to Add Stability to your Life Every Day
Humans crave structure. We don’t really have a choice, it’s in our DNA. From the way we build our families to the way we build our cities, structure is everything. Structure is how we make an unpredictable world feel safe, and secure. We even structure our days around recurring events so we can relax, knowing what we’ll need to do is familiar.
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So, what can we do to feel safe and secure when change comes along and threatens the structures we’ve spent so much of our time building? Because change will come, it’s guaranteed.
As much as we may hate to admit it, change happens. In fact, the only true constant in life is change. It touches every part of our life— whether we want it to or not. Some changes are changes we decide to make, like deciding to start a new job, or deciding to get married. Others are completely out of our control, like illness, natural disasters, or the death of a loved one. When any of these changes occur, they unsettle us and make us feel off balance, like a rug has suddenly been pulled out from under our feet. It can be hard to know what to do in those situations. So, at Be Brave we’ve decided to share our own three-part daily practice, to add needed structure back into your life and keep that rug glued to the floor. This is the exact same process we use for ourselves, every day.
Part One: Create a Culture of Support
Your culture of support is built by getting in touch with a group of people who hold space for you—the real you. These are the friends you can talk to and trust that they’re going to support you, but not tell you what to do, unless you ask. Talk to them about what’s going on, what you’re afraid is going to happen, and what you plan to do to take care of yourself.
Sometimes the decision making we have to do during moments of change is even more stressful than the change itself. Planning a wedding, quitting your current position, or choosing a medical specialist can drive you nuts if you don’t have support. In those times especially, we need to talk to the people we trust completely. The people in your culture of support are the ones who’ve gotten you through the tough times in the past, and who come to you when they need someone to just love them for who they are. These are the people who you would trust to catch you, if you fell. They are your safety net. They might tell you what they’d do in your situation, but in the end you know they’ll have respect for whatever decision you make for yourself.
Part Two: Get In Touch with Your Authentic Self
Change is really scary, and you can feel like you’re losing everything, so it’s really important to get in there and remind yourself of what you still have and who you really are on the inside. No matter how much the outside world shifts, our authentic inner self doesn’t really change, unless we put really intense thought into it. Aside from that, who you are—your morals, beliefs, and guiding principles—remain the same. So it’s very grounding and reassuring to get in touch with yourself.
Part Three: Creating Daily Rituals
This third part helps you double down on part two, by helping you find and reinforce the structures that support who you are. Creating a simple daily ritual that you can do no matter what, is a powerful way to add some structure to your day when the rest of your world is spinning in transition. The easiest way to do that is to find and take time every day to do something that makes you feel grounded or feel good or happy, and that gives you the energy you need. It doesn’t have to be a big thing for it to be a ritual. This could be something as simple as making your bed in the morning, or taking a walk. Just about anything can be a ritual, as long as you do it daily, and are really intentional with it. It could be journaling, or meditation, or even taking a few minutes to drink a cup of coffee and prioritize your day.
It’s also important to know that you don’t have to keep these as three separate things. You can combine as many of these as you want, as many as you’re able, and still build the structure you need. For example, if texting your support group brings you peace and makes you feel more yourself, then it’s not just building a culture of support, it can be your daily structural ritual as well. Bonus points if you can remind yourself of your core beliefs and principles at the same time!
Now, we have a challenge for you. Over the next week, take time to really be intentional with these three actions, every day. Pick your daily ritual, get in touch with your core self, and think about how to build your culture of support. To get in touch with our culture of support, join the Be Brave Community. Remember, we’re with you, so Be Brave
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